It wasn't true. The whole week was just hard. It's officially been one week since I've had any sort of contact with Jeff. I've been sending letters every day, but he can't receive mail yet. The worst part was seeing a car like his and thinking for a split second that it was him, then coming to the realization that he's 3000 miles away and I haven't heard from him in a week.
Today, however, things got better. I found this website last night, which pretty much walks you through the entire OCS process, almost day by day. http://heathalvarez.com/hobbies/ocs.html It said that today, the Saturday after week one, is the hardest day for them. I'm not worried about jeff. I know he can do it. I've seen his determination, and he's passionate about the Navy. But I know it's going to be hard. So I've been in this constant dialogue with God about it - complaining about how much I miss him, wondering why this was God's plan, being sad. But today, it's all been about Jeff and what he's doing today.
Then I got to thinking about the ways in which God has arranged all of this. First of all, I'm in Santa Cruz. I needed to get out of Sacramento. This week, I did hardly anything. I watched TV. I never watch TV. My homework didn't get done. I couldn't find motivation anywhere. And then I had to come to school. I stayed with Elizabeth last night and we went out for food and hung out. I got up early, wrote to Jeff, and went to a coffee place that has wifi. I needed the change, and by arranging school so I come here every weekend, God made it happen.
The day I got home from the airport, I moved out of my apartment abruptly and slightly unexpectedly. It was pretty lonely there - which is ironic because it's across the street from church. I moved home into a house with my step dad who teases me, my mom who makes me food, and my brother who in his own strange way loves me. It's a busy house. I like it that way.
When I look for Him, I see God in all of this. He's been planning for a while, and knows what I need. Lots of things in the past few weeks have been leading up to this. I am where He wants me, even though Jeff isn't here. The best part is that I'm in constant prayer. I still miss him, but realizing all this makes it easier.
Today, however, things got better. I found this website last night, which pretty much walks you through the entire OCS process, almost day by day. http://heathalvarez.com/hobbies/ocs.html It said that today, the Saturday after week one, is the hardest day for them. I'm not worried about jeff. I know he can do it. I've seen his determination, and he's passionate about the Navy. But I know it's going to be hard. So I've been in this constant dialogue with God about it - complaining about how much I miss him, wondering why this was God's plan, being sad. But today, it's all been about Jeff and what he's doing today.
Then I got to thinking about the ways in which God has arranged all of this. First of all, I'm in Santa Cruz. I needed to get out of Sacramento. This week, I did hardly anything. I watched TV. I never watch TV. My homework didn't get done. I couldn't find motivation anywhere. And then I had to come to school. I stayed with Elizabeth last night and we went out for food and hung out. I got up early, wrote to Jeff, and went to a coffee place that has wifi. I needed the change, and by arranging school so I come here every weekend, God made it happen.
The day I got home from the airport, I moved out of my apartment abruptly and slightly unexpectedly. It was pretty lonely there - which is ironic because it's across the street from church. I moved home into a house with my step dad who teases me, my mom who makes me food, and my brother who in his own strange way loves me. It's a busy house. I like it that way.
When I look for Him, I see God in all of this. He's been planning for a while, and knows what I need. Lots of things in the past few weeks have been leading up to this. I am where He wants me, even though Jeff isn't here. The best part is that I'm in constant prayer. I still miss him, but realizing all this makes it easier.
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